Boredom vs Hypomania #2

Writing two days in a row while possibly being hypomanic. Cant sit still long enough to finish a thought or idea and cant seem to get the right words out without forgetting what I was thinking. Attention span is still poor.

I fell asleep around 4 am again. I woke up too many times to get a decent sleep. I was wide awake at 6 in the morning. There is seriously nothing to do during this lock down so it isn’t easy to social distance while you are manic. I didn’t really get the severity of what was going on until today. Only because I am reckless right now and sabotaging myself isnt my main priority but instead its almost a goal.

Sex, drugs and rock and roll. No, but to be honest yes. Drinking, running away and spending money. Purging, cutting and grandiosity. 2 in 1. You won’t have any idea what I am talking about and by the time I reread this I will have forgotten what I even meant by it. Smoking weed smoking weed. keeps me sane and slows things down…for about 20 minutes at least.

Rambling…

I need to call my doctor tomorrow. This is getting out of hand.

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